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Post by Kimble on Jan 27, 2009 11:37:38 GMT -5
I think there was a thread about this on the Commando Fans board but couldn't find it. Some of these names are bad ass. The others aren't really bad ass at all. I included most of his character names.
Mason Storm for me. There's a storm a comin' that whisked a lot of guys to the blood bank. Also, a lot of weather-related quips involving Storm going to town on villains can be made regarding that particular name. This is for my wife. Fuck you and die!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2009 17:01:20 GMT -5
Definitely Mason Storm--clearly one of the hardest names in action film history. Funny, it's also the name of a porn star, nonetheless. I'd say another really tough-sounding name of a Seagal character is Jack Taggert from Fire Down Below. That just sounds like he snaps 2x4's with men's heads; then again, that's exactly what he does. Simon Ballister is probably the lightest hero name in movie history since Billy Ray Lansing (Out of Reach).  |
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Post by The Italian Kid on Jan 28, 2009 15:31:21 GMT -5
Caey Ryback is Seagal's most bad ass name in my opinion, just look at the line in Under Siege 2:
Travis Dane: Ryback's tactics.
Penn: Ryback?
Travis Dane: That's what it says - Ryback.
Mercenary # 2: Casey fuckin' Ryback?
Mercenary #1: Jesus Christ.
Travis Dane: Who's Casey fucking Ryback?
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2009 16:07:17 GMT -5
I love Patrick Kilpatrick's little line about Ryback: "He's the best there is..." |
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Post by Colonel John Matrix on Jan 28, 2009 16:52:15 GMT -5
Gino Felino is my favourite, because it's so fucking ridiculous! John Hatcher is pretty hard - you can't go wrong calling an action man John. I like Mason Storm too, but I feel that the name has been degraded somewhat by the porn star of the same name.  |
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Post by The Italian Kid on Jan 28, 2009 23:47:10 GMT -5
Mason Storm is a pretty bad ass name, and CJM is right, the name is downgraded a little bit, but the porn star Mason Storm is good too.
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Wildey
David Bradley
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Post by Wildey on Jan 29, 2009 9:26:52 GMT -5
Forest Taft is probably my favourite.
"So I play an eco-warrior, see? And my character's name is Forrest. Get it?"
Very clever Steven.
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Post by Kimble on Jan 29, 2009 11:03:03 GMT -5
Mason Storm vs. Mason Storm
It needs to happen. I'm sure the pornstar will tell Seagal how big his cock is. He'll agree, snap her arm, & throw her into a China cabinet.
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Post by Chainmail Vest on Jan 29, 2009 17:07:43 GMT -5
I'm torn between two...
I enjoy the fact that Gino Felino rhymes, yet I also think that calling the hero of an environment-themed film Forest is great.
In the end though, rhyming wins out.
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Post by Voelkermord on Jan 29, 2009 23:59:32 GMT -5
Good point about the rhyming scheme. Slade and I talk at great length about how all of Seagal's movie names should follow the same pattern.
Nico Felico, Forrest Felorrest, Mason Felason, Casey Felasey, Orrin Fellorin, etc...
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Tattoos
Randall "Tex" Cobb
"Someday your wise mouth is going to get your body in a lot of trouble."
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Post by Tattoos on Jan 31, 2009 13:58:26 GMT -5
I gotta pick Gino, his name sounds like some Italian Porn Star character name. Plus that beret and Frankenstein shirt should be required to be a uniform in any police department.  |
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Post by commandorulez on Feb 22, 2009 21:07:35 GMT -5
Steven Seagal's Cock Puncher vs. Mark Hamill's Cock Knocker, that would be a fight.
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